Words With Myself

The Experience Experiment

In Spanish, the verb "experimentar" can mean both to experience and to experiment. I like to think this is a somewhat deliberate decision to symbolize that to experience ( that is, to live ) is to experiment, to try things out. As we get older, our freedom and willingness to experiment often drastically changes and we no longer feel safe or able to experiment. We believe that we should get things right and know better, robbing ourselves of the ability to learn. As soon as you stop experimenting, as soon as you stop willing to be wrong, you prevent yourself from being able to learn.     

Memento Mori

Remember you will die. I have recently been sitting with my own impermanence, truly contemplating what it means to me to die one day. With that I realized a fundamental truth of existence, it has no meaning. Not in a nihilistic sense, but in that it has no intrinsic value only the value you assign it. You create the parameters of your own existence. Despite what society, family, or anyone else may tell you, this experience is yours to live under whatever meaning you wish to assign it. Life is not serious, it is but a temporary game you are choosing to play.

Honour the Child

First of all, sorry for the wind on this one. I tried to remove the background noise but ended up doing more harm than good so I left it in, it only covers a small portion of the audio and it adds some ambiance anyway haha. Do you remember that vulnerable child you once were? Do you remember when it first learned it wasn't safe to be itself? That child still exists within you and without appropriate care and attention, the child will manifest itself in many ways you wish it wouldn't if you don't take care of it.

Stay True to You

Sometimes it can be hard to stay true to what we believe, desire and feel. Sometimes we may find ourselves always trying to please other people and it is a form of deception born out of a necessity to be liked paired with the belief that our true self is not good enough. When you create an identity based off of lies in order to receive love/validation, you will always carry the weight of feeling like nobody loves the true you and feel like you have to hide it from everyone. The more authentic you can be, the more honest you can be with yourself, the more loved you will truly feel. 

Find Nothing To Do

In the modern world, the internet, social media, entertainment is more prominent in our lives than ever. It can seem like from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep we are occupied with something, even meditation is something we schedule to do. Many of us hate to be bored, but boredom can fuel and inspire your next best project, mission or purpose .

Put Theory into Practice

There is only so much studying/questioning/thinking/meditating you can do before you eventually have to work on integrating the lessons learned and put them into practice. This is the stage I find myself in currently. As Spring is in it's height, a time for new life, new patterns and new modes of being presents itself, I am finding myself very much in tune with the seasons at this moment and am spending a lot of my time and energy integrating and apply the lessons learned from my long winter solitude.

Anything but Everything

You can have anything you want, but not everything. Many things we desire come at the cost of a great sacrifice. Some of those sacrifices conflict meaning you must choose the path which you most want to walk. That is not to say that you can't be blessed in many ways, but rather, you must be blessed within the rules that govern our game.

Parental Guidance

We have probably all heard the expression "Treat others as you want to be treated" but what about the opposite? Do you treat yourself as good as you treat others? For me, I always have a tenancy to put others first, to prioritize others needs over my own and say things to myself that I wouldn't dream of saying to others. We have to change this narrative and be our own advocate, giving ourselves what we so frequently give others and treating ourselves with love and respect instead.

Integration Backlog

Sometimes we are looking for answers but we have the answer in front of us, we just don't want to hear it. Maybe it's a change we don't want to make, something we don't want to sacrifice or a trauma that we think is too painful to face. Whatever it is, searching for things to work on as a distraction from the real issue is not going to work in your favor, if anything, it will only mean that you have more problems to deal with and less energy. No matter how terrifying it may be, the ramifications of not working on the thing you know you should be working on will be much worse in the long run.

Listen on Mute

Recently, I have come in to contact with people that are really good listeners and they made me realise that I have a lot of improvement to make on how I listen to people. My tendency to try and solve problems as soon as they arrive can mean I am more focused on looking for a solution than listening when someone is telling me their problems. Silence is golden and sometimes it is only in the absence of a response will people really tell you what they need to say.