Words With Myself

When we begin our healing journey and attempt to let down the walls we have built around us, we can quickly become overwhelmed with feeling all the things we were previously suppressing. This can lead to sinking deeper and deeper into your own pain with no clear way out, but sometimes we have to sink to the bottom in order to push off and make it back to the surface.

During the course of my life, I have grown exceedingly more cautious with what I ask for from the universe. I have come to terms with the fact that actually, I might not always know what is best for me. The things that I am impatiently waiting for, if I had them now, maybe I would squander them. I am learning to trust the universe more and more, that what is right for me will come to me when the time is right, and what never comes was never meant for me anyway.

True strength is being true to you. Many people idealise strength as someone who projects that they are strong, the loudest among us are often considered strong while the quietest weak. It is quite the opposite in fact, anyone can scream and shout, be angry and hurtful to others, but it takes true strength to be gentle, calm and stoic. It takes true strength, to be you, unfiltered and unreserved, just you. 

When we ask for something or set a goal, seldom do we look at the full picture. As the great Ronnie Coleman once said, "Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to lift these heavy ass weights." Many things are like this, people want the idolized end product but avoid the suffering that it takes in order to get it. IF you truly want something, understand the whole picture of what you want, then you can know that you want the suffering you are inflicting on yourself too.

Despite what we may think, time doesn't heal all wounds. In fact, sometimes time can make it much much worse. Trauma can have lasting effects on our development if we do not do the work that is necessary to heal them, the longer we leave it the worse the wound can get. Despite how painful it may be to sit in the discomfort of the trauma, it will be far more painful to let it affect you for the rest of your life.

When we have been in the darkness for so long, when we finally see the light, it can be blinding. Sometimes rather than making immediate decisions based on how we feel in the moment, we need to allow the dust to settle in order for us to realise what is truly right for us.

Arguably one of the most common addictions in today's society, and something almost everyone suffers with to some degree, the severity of dopamine addiction seems to be on the rise. Our attention spans are rapidly reducing and mental health issues are being reported at record numbers, to what extent is an over-abundance of dopamine to blame? I know in my own life, stepping back and reflecting on a near 24/7 stream of input and distraction, it is having a drastic impact on my mood, concentration, clarity and focus.

Most people believe in the attributes others and themselves ascribe to them, strong, smart, reckless, creative, controlling etc. But truth be told, there are times for all these things, there is an appropriate time to need to take control and there are times for letting go. Being able to identify which archetypes to channel and what kind of energy something requires is an important skill, when something isn't working it may be time to change tactic.

Your time and your energy is your true currency, are you spending it wisely?  How you choose to invest your time and energy will determine what comes back to you. This is the karmic nature of our existence.

Healing is a solitary journey. That doesn't mean people, books and many other things can't aid that journey, but it does mean that only we can truly heal ourselves. The work belongs to us, the responsibility belongs to us and so does the accountability. Nobody has had your experience, not exactly, it may be similar, but not the same. While others may have insight and wisdom to share, only you can truly know what work needs to be done and what that work entails.