Words With Myself

Moving Beyond The Darkness Towards Fulfillment

Welcome to this engaging episode of "Words With Myself," where I deeply reflect on my journey to personal fulfillment and self-appreciation. Through the lens of my experiences, I explore the highs and lows, the trials and triumphs, the pain, and the passion that have shaped my path.
Candidly casting a light on mental health challenges, I talk about my long periods of depression that made happiness seem unattainable for a long time. The turnabout is the result of a fiercely fought personal battle, countless challenges, heartaches, and getting up every time I fell. All of these have culminated in a life where I wake up happy and fulfilled, every day.
A critical lesson that I emphasize, often overlooked, is not only living in the present but also cherishing it. This concept is a significant antidote to negative tendencies, such as the constant pull towards a depressive state or a perpetual state of worry about what might go wrong in the future. The episode reiterates the essence of life - change and how to navigate through its unpredictability with peace and gratitude.
The narrative extends into relationships, where the fear of losing someone can turn into an unhealthy obsession, potentially sabotaging the relationship. The discussion plants the seeds of the Buddhist principle of non-attachment, emphasizing that without the fear of loss hovering over us, we can wholly and freely appreciate and celebrate our relationships.
In the final part of the episode, I delve into the merits of gratitude, even in instances when life seems uninspiring or challenging. There is always something, however small or significant, to be thankful for in life. It could be a challenging period, food, water, or even something as seemingly insignificant as a comfortable pillow.

Change and Un-Change

We all change, we learn new information, have different experiences, gain new insights, but could it be that we just grow closer to who we always were? I am not convinced the soul changes, I believe that our true selves are the constant, and that change happens at the level of the ego. Be open to change, but know that ultimately, all change should bring you closer in alignment with who you are, not further away.

Offensive Defences

Sometimes, the tools we develop to protect ourselves, end up being the very things that hurt us the most. Our defence mechanisms were all developed at a point in time where we believed that it was the only way, our only choice. An important step in healing and growing is to understand that these things we once developed to protect ourselves, may not be suitable for you now and actually might be hurting you more than the initial situation that caused you to develop them.

Healthy Communication and Victim Mentality 2

Part two of the communication episode is about the importance of your communication. How what you say, in turn, creates and affirms the beliefs that shape your reality.

A Step To True Freedom

Living a free life is a life of sovereignty. Living your own life, on your terms, with your own beliefs and ideas, making your own choices. There is a responsibility that comes with this, you must be 100% accountable, and you must allow yourself to embrace your journey without benchmarking it against others. Set yourself free, and embrace acceptance in the truest form it needs to come, self-acceptance.

Healthy Communication and Victim Mentality 1

Communication is a difficult thing to master, and much of our speech often reflects our attitude towards life. I am very careful about what I say, and I am often criticised for being too picky with language. But so much of how someone thinks and feels can be picked up from subtle cues in their speech, things they may not even know about themselves. Switching to accountable language is a fundamental first step to clear communication.

Science VS Spirituality

We are living in a time where science is believed to negate ancient wisdom, that spirituality is nonsense and only for the unscientific. Yet more and more, we are seeing science coincide with ancient wisdom, not disprove it. The two do not have to be mutually exclusive, one does not disprove the other.

Don’t Wait For Change

Some Changes we can't make immediately, but does that mean we are just supposed to wait? Absolutely not! We need to do everything we can to prepare ourselves for the change to take place. Create space, Clear room, Know what to expect and what is required.

The Validation Free For All

From childhood, we are taught to look outside of ourselves to know whether our actions, the way we look, and the people we are are, is good enough. We are taught that external validation supersedes internal validation and that our feelings and thoughts are not as important as the thoughts and feelings of others. This is something we must move away from, to place ourselves back in the drivers seat and give ourselves the authority over our lives back.

Discipline ＞ Motivation

Motivation is unreliable, the best way to remain motivated is to take motivation out of the equation altogether. Motivation implies there is a choice, that you will do something depending on how you feel. Discipline is the art of doing something regardless of how you feel. Discipline allows you to be consistent, it ensures the work you need to do gets done. Motivation is great, but you can't depend on it.