Words With Myself

Preparing for the worst case scenario has it's place, but that place is not every situation you find yourself in throughout your entire life. When we are always expecting the worst, we increase our chances of that outcome occurring. It is that scenario where you plan a big trip in your car and then think how it might break down, then it does surprise surprise and we curse the universe for enacting our prophesy.

Moments of true clarity had started to become a rarity in my life, I always had something to distract me, make me feel better or otherwise dilute unwanted feelings and experiences. This year, I am dedicated to removing all the things out of my life that are reducing my clarity and clouding my true feelings and thoughts. This year will be a year of clarity.

I am sure that we have all experienced, seen or repeated the "New year, new me" phase at the start of the year. It may be a tired old cliche, but it is a symbolic opportunity to take inventory of our lives and see which patterns we are playing out, which things we are holding onto and whether we are living in accordance with our true self. Each day is a new beginning, and we can always decide to start fresh. Sometimes we just need to take the time to reflect and assess our lives. For me, this year feels like a true rebirth, an opportunity to let go of the old and begin with a new chapter.

Sometimes we can outgrow ourselves, our mentality and mindset may have adapted but our patterns of behaviour remain the same. How do you change in a world that expects and dictates to you who you are? How do you become someone new? Change can be terrifying and painful, but it is far more painful to live an inauthentic life where we pretend to be someone, we are not just for the sake of keeping up appearances. Change is the only constant after all, let yourself move on from who you were into who you want to be.

Life is suffering. Learning, growing and experiencing all involve elements of suffering. Knowing this, we can choose what we want to suffer for, to give meaning to our anguish and have a reason to go weather the storm. What is worth it for you?

Despite what your ego may want to think, you need other people in life. We all need help, we all need support. We can't be experts of everything and it is important to ask for help when we need it. Everyone wins when you ask for help, other people feel good about themselves for having helped you and you have more time to focus on the areas of your life in which you truly want to invest in. You may be out of practice but it is time to get better at asking for the support you need.

Sometimes we can be so focused on investing in ourselves and in our futures, that we forget that our life resides within the present moment. Of course, you can't always have everything you want the second you want it, but you can live a life that you are happy to live now.

There can come a point in our journey where we feel like we don't want to lose what we have in order to pursue what we want. This can be money, security, status or any number of things, we get to a point in our life where we become comfortable and wonder if the pursuit of our dreams is worth the risk of losing the life we have created.

Everyone has opinion and bias, it is an integral function in our brains ability to process information and make judgements and decisions on how to respond appropriately to information. A problem arises however, when we receive new pieces of information that directly contradict previously held beliefs and opinions. We keep ourselves in a state of cognitive dissonance in order to protect our idea of self, our ego is attached to what we believe and wants to preserve itself and it's identity. This can make changing incredibly difficult. We begin to sabotage ourselves and prevent ourselves from changing in order to hold on to the belief that what we thought or did was right all along.

As we are in the height of Autumn, I have taken time to reflect on what I am holding onto. I am in a transitional period in my life and I am becoming increasingly aware of the things I am holding onto that no longer serve my best interests. Like the leaves fall from a tree, free yourself from past burdens and allow yourself to move on.