Words With Myself

Confidence is key

In my experience, very few people identify themselves as completely confident. If you ask someone if they are confident or not, their first response is usually what they are most insecure about instead. We have a tendency to view people as either confident or not, but the truth is, confidence is complicated. Almost everyone (if not everyone) has insecurities and things they are not confident about, whether it is their ability, looks, voice or anything else. If you self identify as not confident, instead, try to break that down into different areas and understand in which places you are least to most confident. A lack of confidence can lead to a lack of execution and missed out opportunities, missing out on that job opportunity, talking to the person of your dreams or just losing the chance to help someone in need.

Onions have layers, healing has layers.

Sometimes it can feel like we have hit a block, that no matter what we do we can't feel better. Sometimes this is because we focus on the areas we want to change as opposed to the areas that we have to. The more integrated you are with your trauma and the negative things in your life, the harder it is to clear them from it. We justify, protect and ignore the things that hurt us because we have grown used to the pain that they cause, we can become "comfortable" and we know that change is hard and painful. However, if we don't deal with the root cause of our issues, it will only become more ingrained and harder to remove.

I lost the battle but won the war

My worst nightmare happened, I failed. Well, not really, but I did lose my competition at the weekend. I did, however, win something invaluable that day. I won my respect and I finally learned something that I knew was true but never truly believed. I don't have to prove myself to anyone, I don't have to be something for other people, I just have to be something for me. I am proud of myself, I am proud of what I accomplished and what I was able to do and out of every victory I have ever had, I have never been able to truly say those words. It took losing to know what winning truly is, to truly know the meaning of success and not know it just by others definition of it. I am playing my own game now, fighting my own fight, this is my life and I will not allow it to be democratised.

Knowledge is Power

School and me did not go well together, the main thing I thought I learned from school was that I was incompetent. This, however, is not the case. I just didn't learn the way you are supposed to learn in school, I didn't conform to the generic "good pupil". So many people end up feeling like a failure in school when it is really school that is failing you, to make it worse, they blame you. You didn't pass the tests because you weren't good enough, you didn't try or you were a bad kid, this is what I was told and I am certainly not the only one. Education is not the enemy, knowledge and intelligence are not things to be hated or feared, you just have to learn the way that suits you best.

The Blame Game

We often want to feel more in control of our lives but how often are we voluntarily giving up control? We can often feel like life is happen to us, that we are victims of misfortune or bad circumstances. We can make statements like "They made me...", "I have to because..." or "I can't because I don't have...". Statements such as these are powerless, they make it seem like we are not in control of our own lives. We can change the narrative though, we can put ourselves in the position of power, take control and take responsibility. We can stop playing the blame game.

Adjust the scope to keep things in focus

We often view situations in our life as far more significant than they really are, that job interview, the public speech you need to make or the sale you want to make with a client; all these things can seem world ending if they don't end up successful but in truth, it doesn't matter. Other opportunities will come, other people and other chances, in the grand scheme of things and a few years down the line, this will be but a blip in your life.

Eat, Sleep, Schedule, Repeat.

More of a practical episode than usual, but just coming back from holiday I didn't want to miss an episode and I didn't have much time to prepare. I realised that I needed to get back into the swing of things by going back to scheduling my days in order to get the most out of my time, I have been feeling like I have no time lately and with having so much to do, I want to schedule my days so that I have more time to do everything I want to do.

Change is the only constant

Being yourself can be hard at times, it shouldn't be, but it is. Naturally, most of us want to make others happy and want people to like us but this can come at a heavy price. We change who we are to please others, we change to fit in and to make our lives easier so we meet less resistance from society. Change is not to be feared, but we need to make sure we are changing for the right reasons.

Live a hard life

An easy life may seem like the ideal life, but everything that is meaningful is always hard. To live a meaningful life we must do the hard things, this means voluntarily taking on responsibility. Leaders, Parents, Charity workers and community leaders, roles like this are highly meaningful but also require taking on the burden of large amounts of responsibility. Choose to live a meaningful life , don't run away from responsibility and challenge, instead seek them out. 

Put your own mask on first

Is putting others before yourself really always the best thing to do? In this episode we discuss self-prioritisation and when we help ourselves, we help others. Selfish is a label many fear being applied to them, this fear isolates people into a state of unrelenting giving to others no matter the cost to themselves. You are not helping anyone by burning yourself out trying to solve all the worlds problems and not giving yourself a moments thought. It is time to prioritise you.